Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
