Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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