im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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