Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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