no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
