wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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