Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This is my gift to your gina
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
