She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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