I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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