didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
