ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
