We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
