There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
