Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
