How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
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Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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