I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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