if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
