So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
