I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
