You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
