in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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