somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
