i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
