you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
