I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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