did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize