I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you win again, gameday.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
