you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
