I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
