I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
