there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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