dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
