need another drink. this is the easiest way
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
where are my eyebrows?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
