Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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