My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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