You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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