apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
