Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize