i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
