She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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