Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
