So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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