we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
