I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
