you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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