What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
