i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
