Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
barbara walters just said penis...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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