I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
