my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
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There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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