I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize