Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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