my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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