I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I would ride that face into the sunset
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
