I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.