So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
