its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
