Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
