When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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