I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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