Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
